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Slow Down! š„
Stop and take a breath...
Chris Kirk
March 25, 2024
Slow Down! ā š
Are you slowing down enough?
Words I never thought I would ask myself, and truthfully something Iāve only put into practice recently.
Iāve come from an environment where its constant PUSH - there is rarely an end in sight. Off-days arenāt really a thing.
The Marines was a constant process of more, more moreā¦
If it wasnāt a deployment, training exercise or course it was a busy weekend visiting people, catching up with friends or long soul destroying commutes. More often than not - a combination of all of them.
In some senses this taught me how much I can take, how close to burn out you can get and then keep goingā¦
Unfortunately - Marines are just humans that have passed a hard test. We are not impervious to the disasters of poor mental health/burn-out.
This repeated pattern of learnt attitude took me to the biggest moment of burn-out in my life - leaving the Military.
Bye bye burn-outā¦š„
Firstly this had zero to do with āleaving such a big piece of me behindā. To be honest, I think people who view it that way have really missed the point that -the Military is just a job. Granted, a fairly unique one, but just a job.
This upsets a lot of people - mostly because they look back and see what they sacrificed. Family events, Birthdays, Christmasās and goodness know what else. Ultimately for an organisation that moves on without them in the blink of an eye. It must hurt.
For me the illusion wore off quickly - they still wanted their pound of flesh whilst I was trying to work towards having the best possible landing outside the Military. That pissed me off. Big time.
Iāve spoken to people who say - āThe Military gives you way more support than any other job when you leave - I donāt know what the problem isā. Great point - in theory. What does it lack?
A š© ton of nuance.
What they fail to factor in is that no other job will ask you to:
Send you on a deployment often isolated from friends, family and internet access - when youāre trying to build a network, and need more support.
Ask for another 12 months of your life when you decide you no longer want the career.
Thrive on a culture of mis-information, lies and conjecture to deter people from leaving. A truly toxic retention policy.
The list goes onā¦
For me, with about four months left to serve - I was crashing and crashing hard. ā¤µļø
The culture in the Marines isnāt based around rest or even effective/smart training and the appropriate use of people and time. Its based around - keep going until you break or worseā¦
The British Military is broken - both financially, culturally and with its retention of personnel. The self-perpetuating cycle of;
We have no people. So we work the people we have to the bone. So they leave. So we have less people. š¤¦ And so it continuesā¦
This translated into the civilian world for me - instead of chasing the next deployment or course. I started chasing the next job, the next promotion or pay-rise/career path.
All the while missing two critical things:
When we live on the constant goal chasing hamster wheel - we forget to LIVE.
The joy is in the journey - not the destination.
Restā¦ š¤
So hereās what Iāve learnt;
You both have time āļø and donāt ā³ļø - how you balance this with ambition and rest - will dictate the fortunes of your life.
Ambition and drive are a double edged sword - they will take you places, but at what cost? āļø
Enjoy the process and let the destination take care of itself. ā°ļø
Never forget to live. š§
Plan for the future but never at the expense of today - we donāt know whatās round the corner. ā³ļø
Rest is more important than the work - if youāre 80% burn out you can only give 20%. Wouldnāt you rather relax more and give 80% to one thing? š¤
My final thoughtā¦ š
Stop today for a moment, take this time alone in the quiet and just reflect as positively on yourself and your achievements as you can. Perhaps a little reward for yourself on getting to where you are.
You have earnt the right to live.